Why do my boyfriend cheated on me

I understand that this hurts a lot. Even though you have the perfect relationship, men can still cheat. It was his decision to go ahead with it , not yours.

I have already written an article about why men cheat. But you can read them here. The woman not being good enough is hardly ever the case. Most guys are a lot more insecure and do it just to feel better about themselves. They think it is extremely sad if you find out, and that you get hurt.

And this is true whether you are the type of woman that gets very angry and emotional, tends to withdraw yourself inwards, or always tries to laugh off everything bad that happens to you. If your husband betrays your trust by cheating on you, it hurts a lot. My point is that relatively insecure women will look for reasons why he cheated.

You can read more about that in the next section. And realize that your imagination is fooling you. You have to put certain emotions in perspective and try to keep a clear mind.

Try to control your emotions and not let them control you too much. The reason why they do this is because they want to make you feel good about yourself. And they also want to show their loyalty to you. And most people know that, too. Take a look at this. That means that half of the people who give you advice, have cheated themselves. Or had someone do it to them. If your man cheated on you, it becomes a matter of right or wrong as soon as you tell other people about it.

And scientific evidence supports the notion that most men often go back to their partners after an affair. And that they actually needed to be with another woman to realize how great they had it. So with that said, you could at least argue that the adultery actually made the relationship stronger. The important thing is that he or she has been through this exact thing. Do not just get advice from people that yell at you that you should immediately dump him.

This left me wondering if you find it difficult to let him out of your sight in case he does it again. I want to reiterate that any healthy relationship must be based on trust, rather than on constant checking. Your relationship is more likely to stand a long term chance of success if you can be you and he can be himself as well as both being part of a couple. If you have a relationship worry you would like some help with send it to askammanda relate.

Ask Ammanda: My boyfriend cheated on me early in our relationship. Ammanda says Ammanda Major is a Relationship Counsellor and Sex Therapist If you have a relationship worry you would like some help with send it to askammanda relate. But if the person who cheated isn't willing to be upfront about why it happened — or starts pointing blame, repairing things might not be possible.

Grant's husband admitted he was a sex addict and sought out therapy on his own to work through it. He had done everything he could to support me as I healed. If the affair is really, truly over, taking the physical steps to cut off contact with the person and set up boundaries is crucial to your partner's healing process. Brandon Santan , a licensed marriage and relationship therapist practicing in Tennessee. Because Grant's husband worked with the woman he cheated with, this was more complicated.

Being cheated on is damaging for a plethora of reasons, but one big factor that needs to be addressed in order to move past it is lack of honesty. This level of transparency needs to continue for as long as it takes to build that trust back up again; something that Elle says was key to her healing process.

He told me where he was going and who he'd be with. Seems humiliating in the short term, but he understood that that was how he was going to rebuild trust," she says. Your gut reaction might be to blast your partner's indiscretions across social media for all to see, which Travis McNulty , LMHC, practicing in Florida says is a common coping mechanism. But telling everyone in your inner circle can end up backfiring.

Grant found support by creating a blog, The Betrayed Wives Club , to connect with others who were also victims of infidelity — a support system she says played a large part in her healing process.

Why are you still so angry? Perhaps you moved recently, and your relationship has been largely long-distance, in which case some of what you need to work out is the significant change brought about by being in the same city after so many years apart. Affairs can define relationships, and the exploration you do now will help you take an honest look at what you both want from a relationship and each other. Most of all, it will help you answer the most profound question at the core of every relationship: Do you both want to be with each other and why?

When you can answer that question clearly, then—and only then—you will know what to do going forward. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.